"When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it."
- Jim Rohn
Being vague is killing all the work you're putting into it. Make it clear and direct. State what you want in simple positive word. Negative will never work.
When you know what you want, review it every day. Take 5 minutes to read it and remind yourself what it's all about. If it doesn't make you smile, then you should think about it a little more. It should make you smile as soon as you think about it.
"To be successful, you must really want something so bad that it becomes a part of you and motivates you urgently to achieve it."
- Dexter Yager
If you smile when you look at it, then you are on the right track. Keep working to make it happen.